Weekend Musings: The Strange World Of Homo Sapiens - Through The Eyes Of Birds

For those who thought only humans exchanged notes on WhatsApp, here’s a scoop, birds have their own platform, BirdsFlap, where tweets take on a whole new meaning. Like us, they have multiple groups with curious names, one of which is called Happy Petrels. 

Recently, a chat from this group was mysteriously leaked, offering a rare glimpse into how our feathered friends view the strange species called Homo sapiens.

Here’s the unedited conversation as it unfolded:

Rathix Ramasix:

I had been humaning and spotted a large gathering of humans at a place they call Kumbh. It seems to happen every few years, but this one, after twelve years, was especially huge. Humans from all corners of the world had descended there. They took a dip in the river Ganga. The scene was chaotic, with thousands jostling to dip into the water.

Salix:

Wow! Can you describe the species a bit?

Bikramix Grewalix: 

Yes, I too had been there. Let me help. They have varying heights, averaging about five and a half feet, and stand upright on two slender legs. Each foot has five tiny toes, and the front limbs end in five fingers, the outermost called a thumb, which they use to pick things up. 

They are possibly the most abundant species found throughout the world. 

Males tend to have hair on their bodies, while females have a good crop of hair only on their heads. In older ones, the hair turns white or disappears altogether.

The females have two fleshy protruding glands on the chest, some small, some large, used for feeding their babies. Males, for reasons unknown, are particularly fascinated by these and play a part during the mating moves.

They don’t have a beak but a flat mouth bordered with soft flesh, and a protruding nose above it. Their eyes are set below a broad forehead, above which sits a patch of hair that they often comb and colour. Unlike us, they have prominent, visible ears of soft cartilage.

Their plumage is strangely variable, some cover themselves in bright colours even in summer, while others prefer dull hues. It appears to depend not on season but on something they call fashion.

They don’t eat raw food like us but insist on heating it and mixing ingredients. They feed through their fingers, guiding the food to their mouths. 

They produce sounds through the throat and tongue, not entirely musical, though occasionally they sing, and it’s a pleasure to hear.

Salix:

That’s fascinating! Do we know anything about their breeding patterns?

Ramkix Sreenix: 

Yes, quite a few observations. This is one species with no fixed breeding period, they seem to mate all year round. I’ve seen it through windows! They live in massive blocks of cement and steel, each with several openings and a main door. Multiple families stay within a single block, each raising their young ones.

They’re usually monogamous, though not strictly. I’ve seen a male visiting another female in a different block. 

Also, unlike us, they don’t build their own nests, they hire other humans to do it, and often argue for months before finally moving in.

Shanshankix Dalvix:

I’d like to add a note on their migratory habits. Many of their young migrate early, often forcibly, in search of something called better prospects. They fly westward and rarely return for long periods. When they do, their parents appear both proud and lonely.

Interestingly, older humans sometimes migrate for short spells to care for their offspring’s young, they call it babysitting.

Rohanix Mathix:

I’m sad to say this species is a mixed blessing. They are restless creatures, constantly building, breaking, burning, and bragging. They pollute the air, poison the waters, and cut down the very trees that give them breath. They should realize, that they are not the only living creatures on Earth. We, and other animals too have a right to live in good, healthy conditions.

Yet a few among them are different, they plant trees, clean beaches, and rescue birds who crash into their glass cages. Those are the ones who give us hope.

Paragix Gharatix: 

Well said, Rohanix. Fortunately, we have a few true friends among them. One of them is Salil, who loves us and travels long distances to watch us. He recently visited Mangalore and photographed our petrel cousins. A few months ago, he led a team of five in their annual bird race and proudly spotted 82 of our species. He’s also a keen conservationist, a rare kind of human who helps protect our homes instead of destroying them.

We’ve decided he deserves honorary plumage, perhaps a feathered cap when he visits next!

And so the chat went on, full of curiosity, complaint, and cautious admiration. The birds, it seems, observe us as carefully as we do them, perhaps with more empathy, and certainly with better songs.