Rodevra Republic

Amid rituals, relationships, and moments—two lives come together

The Indian wedding scene is full of interesting stories.

When two families come together—often from different backgrounds—there is, at least initially, an exaggerated display of politeness. Beneath this courtesy lies a quiet process of understanding and negotiation. Not so much about character, but about aligning expectations—on costs, venue, menu, scale of events, guest lists, ceremonies, family protocols, dates, and timelines.

It is, in many ways, a delicate balancing act. At times, one has one’s way; at others, one yields. Ultimately, everything is done in the larger interest of the children, holding nothing back.

In all this, I noticed that the elders—the generation above, the grandparents—often display the greatest wisdom. They seem to see the broader picture, remain anchored in the spirit of the union, and overlook small lapses that arise from differing cultural habits.

Then there are the characters.

Suddenly, one finds oneself among a large number of people from the other side—strangers who are now family, to be treated with warmth and courtesy. One such ‘mama’, with an overly breezy manner, arrived early, chose a room on his own, and locked it from the outside—leaving the bathroom tap running. The result was predictable chaos. When the source of the problem was discovered, all we could do was quietly manage it and move on.

There were also moments of quiet learning. Not knowing the internal dynamics of the other family, we initially extended equal warmth to everyone, only to be gently advised to be more measured in certain cases. Social obligations, it seems, have their own complexities.

However much one plans, there are always things that go wrong.

One such moment could have been serious. The groom’s party was to pick up the priest on the way to the venue. In the excitement, they forgot—and realised it halfway through the journey. What followed was a hurried detour, some anxious moments, and finally, relief. The programme was delayed by nearly an hour. In the end, we could only laugh it off.

Another incident, though, still lingers with some regret. A young draper was entrusted with handling heirloom sarees—nearly a century old, passed down through generations, with real gold thread work. Inexperience and haste led to damage that we noticed only later. These pieces, worn as part of the traditional Maharashtrian attire (shela), will now need careful restoration.

And yet, what remains are the many beautiful moments.

Our son-in-law, a trained musician, recorded a song in his own voice, which played during his entry. It was executed flawlessly, thanks to my daughter’s thoughtful planning. The couple also exchanged handwritten letters—unsigned, but marked with thumb impressions—and even shared signature fragrances to remember the day.

One small disappointment was that my “father of the bride” speech could not be delivered as planned, owing to the delay. I later read it out in private. It had been written with the help of a dear friend, Kevin, and I reproduce it here in gratitude.

A wedding leaves behind a tapestry of experiences—new people, new relationships, all of which must be nurtured with care and sensitivity.

But beyond all the arrangements, the mishaps, and the memories, what truly matters is this:

Two people have begun a new life together.

That, in the end, is the essence of it all.

This is a song from the Marathi film Muramba (2017), one that the couple relates to deeply. Vikram recorded it in his own voice, blending it with the original by Anuradha Kuber.

The translation may not fully capture the emotional depth of the Marathi lyrics, where love, serenity, and an unspoken connection are expressed through delicate poetic imagery:

"The entire sky has blossomed,
With moonlight that belongs to us, to you and me.
Our meeting could never be concealed,
No matter how much we tried.
This connection, this bond of ours,
It shines, undeniable and pure.

A quiet restlessness lingers in this silence between us.
This pause, this stillness, it says so much.
The air is drenched with a fragrance,
A sweet, chaotic essence,
That belongs to us, to you and me.
Every moment feels infused with something deeper,
Something that speaks of us, of you and me.

We spoke without words,
Breath meeting breath, silently communicating.
Even the wind caught hold of our unspoken feelings,
It carried the whispers of our hearts
Your emotions and mine,
Merged into one invisible language.

One single spark dispelled the darkness between us,
One single light revealed everything we are.
And now, in every moment,
Through each other, we find ourselves.
Your being completes mine,
And mine completes yours." 

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