Sunday Story: An Indian Wedding

The Indian wedding scene presents some interesting stories. Firstly, when two families come together, in most times with different backgrounds, till the time they are comfortable with each other, there is an exaggerated show of politeness. Within this guise of politeness there is judging, not on character, but gauging in advance the thoughts on various common areas that need to be agreed, cost sharing, the venue, menu, the scale of events, guest numbers, marriage ceremonies and family protocols, dates and timelines, and a number of other things that have to be mutually agreed. It is tough negotiation that gets the best of you, sometimes you have your way, sometime you give in, but in the ultimate interest of the children, not to hold back anything. 

Have noticed, in all this, the elders are the most sensible and forward looking and also more accommodating. By elders, I mean one generation up, the grandparents. I guess they see the broader picture, are more in the spirit of the union and gloss over any faux pas, which happen due to different cultural backgrounds. 

There are some characters as well. All of a sudden one is exposed to a large number of people from the other side, apparently strangers, but now relations one has to be courteous and polite. There was this person, a close 'mama', with an overly breezy and affable manner, who came in early and without waiting to be shown his room, went and occupied a corner one. Neither did he inform anybody. After getting ready, he locked the room from outside leaving the bathroom tap open. This not only drained out the water, but the manager of the place got involved and there was a buzz in hushed tones on who was behind this. On finding the culprit, all we could do was to keep quiet. 

Further we don't understand the family dynamics the other side. While we tended to be equally courteous to all, we were told to cool off with some. They were only invited due to certain compulsions, but that was it. 

Was just thinking that however much one plans, there are so many things that can go wrong. Fortunately for us, there were not too many. However one particular miss would have been disastrous. The groom's party was supposed to pickup the priest on the way to the venue. In all their excitement, they forgot about him and realised it half way on their route. There was a mad scramble to pick him up, which they did, but delayed our programme by almost an hour. Whew! Again, all we could do was to laugh it out.

Another thing that went wrong and we still regret is that our draper, a youngish girl, was asked to drape our heirloom sarees and drapes on the bride, my wife and my second daughter. They were from three generations up, almost a hundred years old, with actual gold threads on the borders and motifs. She ruined them by pinning them roughly with blunt pins, leaving the borders in bad shape. We unfortunately realised the damage only later. We now have to get hold of a person to restore them. They were actually drapes worn on top of a saree (called 'shela') as part of a traditional Maharashtrian wedding attire.

Of course, there were plenty of happy  moments. Our son-in-law is a trained musician, who sings and is an accomplished percussionist, though it is not his profession. He actually recorded a song in the studio, which was played at the time of his entry on the wedding stage (see below). This was executed perfectly thanks to my daughter's planning. Another thing that went well was the couple reading out hand-written letters to one another, not signed, but thumb impressioned. They also exchanged signature fragrances that will remind them of that day. What however did not go well was that my 'Father of bride' speech did not happen as our programme, as mentioned above, had got delayed. However I read it out in private. Had written it with help from our dear friend, Kevin. I owe it to him to reproduce it below. Also giving below the song my son-in-law had recorded.

A wedding leaves a lot of experiences and impressions. New people, new relationships, one that have to be tended with care and sensitivity. In the midst of all this, two people are starting their new lives together, which is all that matters, and is the sum and substance of this story.

This is a song from a Marathi movie, Murumba (2017), which both relate to very closely, so the groom, Vikram, recorded it in his voice overlapping the voice of the original singer, Anuradha Kuber. 

The translation below may not have the emotional depth conveyed in the Marathi lyrics as the underlying emotions of love, serenity, the intensity, unity, the unspoken connection and overwhelming sense of belonging are expressed through poetic metaphors, which may be lost in translation.

"The entire sky has blossomed,
With moonlight that belongs to us, to you and me.
Our meeting could never be concealed,
No matter how much we tried.
This connection, this bond of ours,
It shines, undeniable and pure.

A quiet restlessness lingers in this silence between us.
This pause, this stillness, it says so much.
The air is drenched with a fragrance,
A sweet, chaotic essence,
That belongs to us, to you and me.
Every moment feels infused with something deeper,
Something that speaks of us, of you and me.

We spoke without words,
Breath meeting breath, silently communicating.
Even the wind caught hold of our unspoken feelings,
It carried the whispers of our hearts
Your emotions and mine,
Merged into one invisible language.

One single spark dispelled the darkness between us,
One single light revealed everything we are.
And now, in every moment,
Through each other, we find ourselves.
Your being completes mine,
And mine completes yours."