Letting Go

Q 1. We understand that Letting Go is a fundamental principle in spirituality, easy to understand, but practically very difficult to practice. It seems clear in theory, but in actual life it feels impossible. Why is it so difficult to let go?

Ans 1. It is difficult because our entire way of living rests upon holding on, to possessions, people, positions, and, most of all, to our self-image. From childhood, we are trained to grasp, to secure, to protect. This grasping becomes second nature, so when we hear “Let go,” the mind feels as if something essential will be lost.

 The true prerequisite for letting go is not just a spiritual instruction but a deep inner recognition, that clinging does not bring the peace we seek. When you see, with clarity, that no amount of holding on has ever given lasting satisfaction, then a natural urge to loosen the grip arises. That urge is the seed of real letting go.

Q 2. So, letting go comes only when one realises the futility of clinging. But then another doubt troubles me. Isn’t letting go the same as becoming passive? If I stop holding on, won’t I lose interest in life or neglect my duties? Sometimes I fear that letting go might make me indifferent or lazy.

Ans 2. This is a common misunderstanding. Letting go is not passivity, it is freedom from compulsive attachment. When you let go, you do not abandon life; you abandon your clinging to outcomes. In fact, when attachment drops, your actions become more dynamic, more alive, because they are no longer clouded by fear or anxiety.

The passive man withdraws from life; the one who has let go is fully engaged but not entangled. He can work wholeheartedly, love deeply, enjoy fully, and yet remain inwardly free. The difference lies in the inner stance: the passive man acts out of weakness, the man who lets go acts out of strength and clarity.

Q3. I think I understand. But another thought arises. If I keep this inner check, “I must let go, I must not cling”, then am I not holding myself back from life? Am I really enjoying life then? Doesn’t letting go mean that I cannot abandon myself to the full flow of experience?

Ans 3.  On the contrary, only one who has let go can truly enjoy the full flow of life. The one who clings lives in fear, fear of loss, fear of change, fear of the future. His enjoyment is always mixed with anxiety. But the one who has let go can laugh without hesitation, love without possession, work without bondage. His freedom makes his joy purer.

Think of a bird in the sky. Does it fear falling with every flap of its wings? No, because flight is natural to it. In the same way, when letting go becomes natural, you will discover that life flows more abundantly through you. What you lose is not joy, but the restless craving that poisoned joy.

Q 4. This feels liberating in words, but when I sit quietly and try to practice, I notice something strange, my mind plays tricks. It says, “Yes, I am letting go,” but in truth I am still holding on, only in a subtler way. Sometimes I suppress, sometimes I pretend. How can I know the difference?

Ans 4. You have touched upon an important point. The mind is clever; it knows how to disguise attachment. It says, “I have renounced,” yet secretly it waits for the very thing it claims to have abandoned. True letting go is not repression, not avoidance, not self-deception. The mind is part of Prakruti, always analysing, comparing, clinging to patterns. If we rely on the same mind to “cut the knot,” it keeps tying subtler knots.

The test is simple: when you have truly let go, there is lightness inside, not tension. There is peace, not uneasiness. If some heaviness, some silent complaint, some hidden restlessness lingers, it means the mind is still clutching. Letting go is recognised not by what you tell yourself but by the silence that follows within.

Q 5.  But how do I enter that zone where this real letting go becomes possible? Sometimes it feels like I am standing on the edge of a cliff, the guide says “jump,” but my whole being trembles. How to take that leap?

Ans 5. It is true: there is a leap. And yet, it is not into emptiness but into freedom. The mind resists because it is accustomed to bondage, it does not know how to live without chains. The leap becomes possible when two forces meet within you:

 - The deep urge for freedom -  when you have seen clearly that clinging only brings suffering, and you no longer wish to live that way.

- The trust in life itself -  the faith that existence supports you, that you are not falling into chaos but into a greater order.

When these two combine, the leap is taken almost naturally. It is not an act of force but of surrender.

Here are practical entry points into that “zone” beyond mental tricks:

(a) Pause into Awareness

- Each time attachment stirs, pause and silently affirm: “This is arising in me, but I am the witness.”

- Even 10 seconds of pure witnessing breaks the identification.

 (b) Body as Anchor

- The mind tricks easily, but the body doesn’t lie.

- Notice: clinging shows up as tightness in chest, knots in stomach, clenched jaw.

- Consciously relax the body → signals the system to release mentally as well.

 (c) Small Acts of Real Surrender

- Before sleep, consciously tell yourself: “Whatever happened today, I hand it over to the Divine.”

- This symbolic act, done sincerely, bypasses mental games.

 (d) Taste of Freedom

- Each time you truly let go of something (big or small), notice the lightness and relief.

- That taste becomes self-reinforcing,  the mind realises freedom feels better than control.

The leap is not one grand event, but repeated moments of clarity.  Each moment of true letting go shifts the axis a little more. Over time, the default stance of life changes: from grasping → to trusting flow.

Q 6. So the “urge” is not just a passing thought, but it carries the fuel for transformation. Does suffering also play a role?

Ans 6. The urge is the seed, but it must be nurtured with conscious awareness. Every time you notice the heaviness of clinging, remind yourself, “this is not bringing me peace.” Let this recognition deepen, again and again. Slowly, the urge ripens into strength.

At some point, the balance tips, the weight of holding on becomes unbearable, and the fragrance of freedom becomes irresistible. Then letting go is not a heroic act but the most natural step. Just as a ripe fruit drops from the tree without effort, so too the heart that is ripe with awareness lets go without struggle.

Yes, suffering too plays a role. When pleasures lose their sweetness, when repeated patterns of desire-exhaustion-desire feel hollow, when success tastes flat, these experiences nudge us to question life. This questioning matures into a sincere urge. Without this urge, letting go remains a pious thought, not a lived reality.

Q 7.  All this sounds beautiful, but when I return to my daily life, I face real challenges. In relationships, for example, when someone I love hurts me, how can I “let go”? It feels unnatural, almost like I am betraying myself.

Ans 7. Letting go does not mean that you stop feeling. Pain will arise, it is part of being human. The difference is in what you do after the pain appears. Usually, the mind keeps replaying the wound, multiplying the hurt a hundred times. Letting go means you allow the first arrow to strike, but you do not shoot the second arrow yourself.

You acknowledge: “I am hurt.” You breathe into it. You allow the pain to pass, as all things pass. But you do not build a palace of memory around it. This is true compassion, for yourself and for the other.

Q 8.  And what about ambition? If I let go, won’t I lose my drive? How can I succeed in this competitive world if I am always relaxing into surrender?

Ans 8. Letting go does not mean losing your passion or creativity. In fact, it makes them sharper. The difference is: without letting go, ambition is driven by fear, fear of failure, fear of insignificance. With letting go, action flows from joy, from love of the work itself.

The runner who clings to winning is tense; the runner who lets go of winning but loves running runs faster, lighter. Success then becomes a by-product, not the master.

Q 9.  Still, I fear that if I let go, I may not fully enjoy life. Won’t it make me detached, as if I am watching life from the outside rather than living it?

 Ans 9. It may appear that way at first. But in truth, letting go allows you to taste life more deeply. Attachment clouds perception; it makes you anxious about outcomes. When you let go, you are free to enjoy each moment without fear of losing it.

A flower is more beautiful when you know it will fade tomorrow, because then you truly see it today. Letting go does not remove you from life; it plunges you into the heart of it, but without chains.

Q 10.  That helps me see it differently. But in daily stresses, deadlines, disappointments, even traffic jams, how can I remember to let go? In the moment, I forget everything.

Ans 10. That is natural. Letting go is not a one-time achievement; it is a practice. Begin small. The next time you are stuck in traffic, notice your rising irritation. Instead of feeding it, smile gently at yourself and say: “This too is life. Can I relax into this moment as it is?”

 Each such reminder is a thread; weave enough of them, and they form a fabric of awareness. Over time, letting go becomes less an effort and more your natural rhythm.

Q 11. How do I measure how far I have been successful with Letting Go? Are there any signs to look for ?

Ans 11.  There are a few tests, for example:

 Energy Check 

True letting go: You feel lighter, more energetic, available for the next action.

False passivity: You feel dull, drained, or indifferent.

 Engagement with Life 

True letting go: You still act, love, create, and participate fully, but without the extra burden of “must control the outcome.”

False passivity: You withdraw, stop making effort, avoid responsibilities, and call it detachment.

 Inner Emotion 

True letting go: Inner peace, even if circumstances are tough. A quiet joy.

False letting go: Suppressed resentment, bitterness, or “I don’t care” attitude.

 Relationship Test 

True letting go: You can forgive, accept, or move on, while still caring for others.

False letting go: You cut off, become cold, or avoid people to escape discomfort.

 Present-Moment Experience 

True letting go: You enjoy what is in front of you without clinging to it.

False letting go: You refuse to feel deeply, afraid of being hurt, so you stay numb.

 Attitude Toward Effort 

True letting go: “I will give my best, then release the result.” (like the archer)

False letting go: “Why bother? It doesn’t matter anyway.”

 Q 12. I think I am beginning to understand. Letting go is not escape, not indifference. It is a freedom inside me, even while I am fully engaged with life.

 Ans 12. Yes. It is living with open hands, not clenched fists. What comes, you receive with gratitude. What goes, you release with trust.

 Q 13. But what if I stumble again? What if I forget, and the old patterns of clinging return?

 Ans 13. They will return, again and again. But each time you notice, you awaken. Do not scold yourself. Even falling back is part of the path. The river does not scold a stone in its way; it simply flows around it. You can try simple everyday tips like witnessing thoughts and emotions, or small acts of letting go daily such as accepting delays, not needing the last word, etc.

 Q 14, So, letting go is not a final destination, but a way of walking.

 Ans 14.  Exactly. It is not a peak you climb once, but a rhythm of breathing you carry always. Each breath in, life comes to you. Each breath out, you let it go. See how the universe itself practices this rhythm.

 Q 15. I feel lighter as I listen. As if I don’t have to hold life so tightly.

 Ans 15. That is the fragrance of letting go. It is not something you possess; it is something you become. And as you practice it, life will cease to feel like a burden you must carry. Instead, you will find that you are being carried,  like a leaf floating on the current of a great river.

 Q 16: Then the real strength is not in holding on, but in trusting the current.

 Ans 16. Yes. And that trust is not blind. It is born of direct experience: you see that everything changes, yet something in you, the witness, the awareness, remains untouched. Rest there, and you will know that letting go is not loss. It is return. Let life flow through you. And let go, again and again, until it becomes as natural as the beating of your heart. “Life is like holding a bird. Hold too tight, and you crush it. Hold too loose, and it slips away.

But if you let go of fear, your hand becomes the sky, and the bird is free to fly, yet never leaves you.