Weekday Musings – The Problems We Love to Have

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A few days back, there was this conversation with a young lady who said she had a huge problem - she had so many travel pictures that she didn’t know how to store them properly. She and her husband travel extensively, often to exotic places; by the last count, they had been to 48 countries. It made me think: now here is a problem we would all love to have.

They live in a sprawling flat at Marine Drive, a typical SoBo family with old money, just five people in the household. They have a full-time cook, and another of her serious grievances is that she and her mother-in-law can’t agree on what food to tell him to prepare. Enough, it seems, to turn an otherwise comfortable life into a hotbed of stress.

Then there are what we might call “real” problems - people struggling to manage day-to-day expenses, settle debts, or deal with their own or their family’s health issues. People facing relationship crises, difficulties in marriage, or the heartbreak of not having children. Others wrestle with fears, phobias, complexes, and addictions that feel impossible to overcome.

Worry attaches itself to all these problems, real or imagined. Even the most trivial issue - like the lady’s - can set one spiraling into anxiety, robbing peace of mind, which is the very condition that allows happiness. 

The question then arises: if peace of mind is our aim, can we stop worrying? Surprisingly, the answer is yes.

Too often, we label situations as “problems.” But once we commit to the idea that nothing in this world is worth spoiling our peace of mind, nothing will. Situations can then be handled on their merit - not emotionally, but practically and with intellect. Often, the worry itself gives people a warped sense of identity, and they float from one “problem” to another, sometimes even glorifying their issues as if to say, “My problem is bigger than yours.”

It’s not always the big problems either. Life throws up a series of small, short-term irritations - hair fall, an allergy, a mother-in-law or brother-in-law coming to stay, exams, admissions, the maid or cook not showing up, water shortages, neighbourhood disputes, a leaking tap, a child’s errant behaviour, even a dry day when the whiskey runs out. Frivolous or not, they’re enough to send some people into a whirlwind of worry, sustaining a continuous state of “I”-ness and false involvement.

Which raises a deeper question: in living an active life, can we ever be free from problems or worry? We know that when thoughts subside, the mind becomes clear and undisturbed. In that stillness, peace appears  - a quiet awareness, almost like a continuous meditative state. Even amid action, one can remain anchored in an inner tranquility, drawn to the source of peace within.

Seen this way, the call is not to eliminate worry altogether, but to transcend it - to shift from thoughts born of ego and “I”-ness to those that arise from a deeper, purer space. In doing so, we don’t escape life but live it more fully - aware yet undisturbed - finding happiness and peace not in spite of life, but through it.

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